A very terrible inconvenience
by kyouko68
Summary: Sanji is angered by Zoro's lack chivalry. He plays a prank that goes wrong. Zoro and Luffy share a secret relationship. ZoLu Lemon smoothy...
1. Chapter 1

I'm finally done! My first fanfic ever! I hope ya'lls like it.

This is a ZoLu fanfic, don't like don't read

I do not own One Piece, though I wish I did…

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><p><strong>My guardian Angel<strong>

"Where do you think your going!" Nami demanded strictly.

"For a walk, don't wait up." I replied irritably.

We had stopped to the next island which happen to be a pretty big town. It was late afternoon and everyone was pretty much done with exploring except for me. I was knocked out the whole time on the ship. Since we're going to be here for like two and a half weeks according to the log pose, I might as well do some exploring for my self.

"This place is pretty big. Aren't you worried that you might get lost? Again." Nami crossed her arms.

"I wont get lost!" I snapped. Geeze, why does everyone assume that I might get lost? All those other times didn't count. The directions people gave were to complicated.

I jumped off the ship before queen of bitch could say anything else.

"Come back soon, it going to rain tonight!" she called after me.

"I'm fine! It's not like waters going to make me melt!" I replied without turning around.

Once I was in town I observed the sights around me. It wasn't really anything I haven't seen before. I stumbled upon a small Tavern in the middle of town.

"Jackpot! I could use a drink…"

I didn't think I was there that long, but when I stepped outside it was really late and pouring rain.

"Damn, I didn't think it was going to be this cold too." I walked vulnerably into the rain with nothing protecting me from it. It was pouring so hard that I was soaked within minutes.

I was walking for a good fifteen minutes until I suddenly ended un in this really sketchy place. _Where am I?_

Dammit, I probably got lost again. I was about to head back where I came from until my good eye caught movement. Then I heard a crash of garbage cans in an alley.

Then I heard a string of growls, barks, and hisses. Out of curiosity, I got closer to see what it was, in the darkness. I saw three large dogs cornering a single cat. The cat looked as if it were fighting with the last ounce of strength it had left, swiping and hissing at it's attackers who were thrice it's size.

I felt a little admiration for the cat's bravery.

"Hey! Scat!" I shooed the dogs away from the cat. They ran away as I got closer. I looked over to the injured animal. The kitten collapsed and was shaking slightly from the cold. It's fur clung to it's sides from the rain, revealing how emaciated it was. Obviously a stray. The kitten had no more fight in it, yet still glaring at my defensively.

I bent down to pick it up and the cat gave no protest to it. It was no bigger than my hand.

"Why am I such a nice guy." I sighed to myself. Obviously I'm going to have to take it back to the ship with me. I wouldn't be able to bring myself to leave it here to die.

As I carried it, I noticed that the cat was sleeping. I got sick of walking in the streets, so I swiftly hopped from roof to roof, careful not to roused my passenger. It was easier this way, now I could see that I was close to the Thousand Sunny.

Once I leapt up on the deck I made sure to hide the kitten in my haramaki, carefully not to smother it.

"Hey Zoro, where've you been?" Luffy called from the top of the stairs.

"Why are you up? Shouldn't everyone be sleeping by now?" I observed.

"They are. I was waiting for you." He explained. "I was here in case you came back."

"What did you think I was running away?" I joked. He laughed at this.

"Nami says you have watch tonight, since you were the last to come back." Luffy told me. I rolled my eyes.

"Of _course_ I do." I said sarcastically. I don't think Luffy saw it. "Whatever, night Luffy." I sighed. I quickly climbed up to the crows nest/training room. I needed to tend to the kittens injuries.

I'll have to clean him first. It's fur was caked with mud and blood. "Wait here." I instructed. Well it was sleeping so I didn't really have to say anything. Why was I talking to a cat any way?

I climbed down the mast making sure Luffy was gone first. I grabbed a bucket, some soap and a few wash clothes from the kitchen. When I returned the kitten was still were I left it. The steady rise and fall of it's flank told me that it was still alive.

The bucket was already full of rain water. I expected a fight as I out the kitten in the water, but I see now that it's quite comfortable. I gently cleaned the mud and dried up blood out of its fur. I noticed that the kitten was a tortoiseshell color. More orange the white, brown and black. It also had unusually green colored ears. They were natural like mine. _At least now I'm not the only one. _I thought to myself.

The kitten purred as I dried it off with a fluffy towel. It's wounds were minor. It only needed a few bandages here and there, nothing to major.

"Nya~" it mewed. He rubbed up against my hand. I guess he likes me.

"Your one brave little tom cat." I praised. He groweled.

"Umm…she-cat?" I guessed noting on the sight bitchy attitude. She purred in response.

I can't let anyone know she's here. I mean, she's too little to be wondering around wher she could get stepped on or worse: irritate someone and get thrown off the ship. Well, I doubt, Luffy or Chopper would do that but what about the rest of em'.

The next couple of days Mittens, that's what I named her cause of her black paws, was acting much more happy and active. I fed her food from the kitchen.

"You seem happy today?" I commented.

"Nya~" she mewed happily. She rubbed up against my leg when she was done with the piece of bacon I smuggled from breakfast.

"Hey Zoro, me and Usopp caught this really awesome fish-!"

"Shit!" I cursed in surprise. I was Luffy.

"Hey, are you hiding something , Zoro?" he accused. He came up closer. My back was to him shielding Mittens from his sight.

"Of course not you silly beautiful thing- I-I mean Luffy!" I stuttered. That slipped out. I had sort of a manly crush on my captain. I didn't want to think of myself as a school boy trying to get the girl that way out of his leage. I try to keep my emotions on the down low. Especially not to act like Ero-Cook Sanji that fawns over Nami and Robin like some idiot.

Mittens slipped from my grasp an trotted over to greet Luffy. I panicked.

"Is that kitten? Is this why you took everyone's night shifts?" he gasped as he nealed down to pet her.

I rubbed the back of my head in defeat.

"Yeah, I rescued her from a bunch of stray dogs who were giving her trouble." I explained. "I couldn't just leave her there."

"I understand, I would have done the same thing." He laughed. Why does he have to be so adorable!

"Um, can you not tell anyone about her." I mentioned.

"Huh, why not?" he looked up at me in confusion.

"Uhh…well…" I began.

"It's ok Zoro," he placed a finger over his lips. "She'll be our little secret." He whispered. My heart fluttered. I'd love to feel those lips on mine _so_ badly!

"Don't mention it, so, does this pretty kitty have a name?" he asked.

"Yeah, Mittens." I told him.

"Mittens?" he asked skeptically.

"Don't judge me, ok." I grunted. Luffy laughed at this.

"Don't worry, I think it's a very nice name. Especially, with those green ears of hers. There like your hair! It's almost like fate or somethin'." He said in amazment.

"Luffy did you tell him yet!" It was Usopp, Luffy jumped slightly as he remembered that he left him an Chopper.

"Oh, I almost forgot! Zoro! You have to come and see this!" he tugged on my arm.

"You go, I'll be right there." I told him.

"Oh, ok. Hurry though, I'm getting everyone to see this thing, its huge!" He encouraged as he got up.

"I'll see you there ok. See you later Mittens!" and with that he was gone. I leaned on the bench and sighed to myself. Were does the time go, I've known that kid for 2 years and I'm already head over heels in love with him. Well, I fell in love with him only a few weeks after I met him. It was hard not to. And like a man, I don't want to admit that I'm gay, but it's just _Luffy_ that makes me love Luffy.

"Oh I see what's going on." I jumped and looked around as I heard a voice.

"Down here Nimrod." There it was again. I looked down at Mittens who was looking up at me.

"Mittens was that you?" I asked cautiously.

"And now he gets it! Congratulations!" she rolled her eyes.

"You can talk?" I mused. I would have been more surprised If we hadn't been in the New World.

"Well, I'm allowing you to understand me. I am you guardian angel after all." She said.

"Guardian Angel? Aren't angels suppose to be…you know…" I was lost for words.

"Don't even start with me, Roronoa. I was attacked by freaking dogs trying to find you!" she hissed at me. Then she sighed trying to calm down. "But that doesn't matter right now. I have business to take care of.

"Business? What business?" I was confused. Why'd did she decided to show up now.

"Isn't it obvious? I saw that your love life is in jeopardy, so I thought I'd help." She suggested.

"Oh yeah? You're a cat. How are you going to do that?" I asked skeptically.

"Like this?" There was a bright light as Mittens transformed into a human. She had long blonde hair, and the tips of her hair was a light green like my hair. With green eyes she already had when she was a cat. She wore a red mini skirt with a short tank top to showing off her belly. The tank top was a dark red and had a big pink heart in the middle. Her face was soft and fair and had a few cat like features.

"That's better. My name is Torah." She sighed.

"What…" I gasped. I must be dreaming. All of this cant be happening for real. I shut my eyes hoping that I'll wake up, but when I opened them, Torah was looking at me nose to nose. I jumped back in surprise.

"I don't know what you doing, but I'm going to tell you that I have a plan to win over you captain." She said.

"A plan? But, there's no way Luffy would have the same feelings for me. I'm fine with just being his friend and nothing more." I said firmly. Torah rolled her eyes.

"Not this again. Anyway, you don't have to worry about that because I know a way to get _him_ to confess to _you_!" She spoke eagerly.

"Huh?" That didn't make any sense. Why on earth would Luffy confess his love for me? It was unheard of. I doubt that Luffy even thinks about that kind of stuff. His heart is only set on his dream, not all the bullshit in between(Hey that rhymed!).

"The only thin I ask of you is to spen as much time as you can with Mugiwara-kun." She stated. "Then leave all the juicy details to me." She said slightly as if planning something sinister.

"What, you mean spend more time than I usually do with the little barnacle." I grunted.

"Yep, play the silly games that he plays when he's bored." She suggested. Ughh that sounds like work.

"Now go!" she transformed back into cat form and nudged my ankles towards the exit.

"What now?"

"Remember? He wants you down there, and you've already wasted five minutes!" she explained quickly.

"Oh yeah." I droned.

I climbed down to the deck to find Chopper waving up at me excitedly.

"There you are!" he chirped. "Come and see this!" he dragged me to the aquarium room where everyone was staring in amazement through the glass.

"Whoa…" was all I could say..

"Yeah I know right?" Chopper squealed. The fish was huge, I mean enough to fit in the tank, but the tank itself is pretty big, but it wasn't the size that was amazing. It was beautiful! It's scales shimmered and changed colors every now and then. It's fins and whiskers flowed like ribbons which also changed colors.

I walked up to where everyone was sitting on the long couch and chairs. I took a place in between Usopp and Luffy. Luffy's face was pressed up against the glass looking like a kid at a zoo.

"Sugei, ne?" Luffy said when he saw me.

"Yeah, you've really out done yourselves." I praised. "I hope it wont eat the other fish in there like last time."

"Hey! That time it was a shark!" he said defensively. "I'm just wondering if it's edible." He wondered out loud.

Luffy and I stayed in the aquarium room until we were the last ones in there. There rest of the crew had other stuff to tend to.

It was like the world was gone. It was just the two of us. The fish only glowed a bright pink color now. It was almost as beautiful as Luffy.

My hand moved over to slightly touch his. He jumped slightly but didn't move his hand away. My face heated a bit. I glanced over to him. He looked at me too. It might have been the glowing color of the fish, but I swore Luffy was blushing. I moved my hand over his entire hand.

"Zoro…?" he looked up at me the wide and confused eyes. I leaned in closer. Luffy's face turned a different shade of red when we were literally nose to nose. His eyes were half closed now. But then I ran a finger from his neck to his nose in a flick.

He was slightly startled by this. I grinned down at him.

"We should get going. Lunch is probably ready." I chuckled.

"Lunch…" he said dreamily. He jumped. "Oh, Lunch! Yeah, your right!" he tapped his head lightly with a fist. Then he grabbed my hand and dragged me out the door.

"Ike mashou!" Luffy chimed. _Now I've got him_ I thought. _I just need to push him more. _I still don't know what Torah is trying to do, but I have to play along for the time being.

For a full week I spent participating in Luffy's silly games along with Usopp, Chopper, and Brook. I also fished with them which is something their forced to do by the stupid cook. I tried to be as less cranky as possible because I wasn't allowed to take my afternoon naps.

"Tag, your it!" Luffy squealed and slapped me on the back.

"Hey, you cheated! No using your powers!" I called him out since he was all the way across the deck. He stuck his tongue out at me.

"Street rules! Baka!" he teased mischievously.

"Teme! I'm gonna rip your head off!" I growled as I chased after him.

"You think ol' slow poke Zoro is gonna catch us?" Usopp taunted.

"Why you!" We'd play until Lunch. Then we'd play Hide n' Seek until dinner. I was always tuckered out by bed time. Though today Luffy and I watched the sunset together.

"Hey Zoro, thanks for playing with us again today. You don't normally like to play with us." He observed.

"I don't know, I guess it's a bit fun hanging out with you guys for once and a while." I said which wasn't entirely a lie. I kinda liked hanging out with those idiots.

"I'm glad, now I have someone else to crème at tag." He teased.

"Oh yeah, just you wait. I'll get you." I betted. Luffy giggled at this.

"Your funny, Zoro." He batted his eyelashes. Was Luffy _flirting. _Maybe I was just seeing thing, there's no way Luffy would _flirt _with anybody. "Hey, can I stay with you tonight? I-I mean you know, in the crows nest, with Mittens." He scrabbled for words as he rubbed the back of his head. I spotted a tinge of color in his cheeks.

"Yeah sure, why not." I smiled at him and he grinned widely.

"Yeay!" he rejoiced.

That night, Luffy and I fell asleep at the same time. Since we were on an island we didn't necessarily have to stay on guard duty. Mittens slept quietly on Luffy's lap. She was probably the one who put the blanket over us.

I woke up the next morning. When I rolled over, I was face to face with a sleeping Luffy. _Please tell me we didn't do it. _But then I remembered what happened last night, sighing in relief when I noticed the presence of Luffy's clothes on him.

"Luffy rise n' shine." I said in an attempted to wake him. He shuffled a bit.

"Shush, I'm still sleeping." He muttered still asleep. He wrapped his arms around me. I jumped. Luffy was clinging onto me. I put my hands in there air, so I wouldn't look like a pervert. I heard him take a deep inhale of air, while his nose was buried in my shirt.

"Zoro…" Luffy sighed. Wait was he having a dream about me? I was slightly curious, but I shook my head of all dirty thoughts. Torah in her kitten form patted up to me giving me a mischievous look. She tickled the back of Luffy's knee with the tip of her tail.

"Zoro…stop…it tickles. You know I'm sensitive there…" He giggled in his sleep. Alright! That's enough! My face was red hot.

"Luffy!" slightly raising my voice. Luffy gripped my shirt.

"Zoro!"

_What the fuck? Did I just here him moan? _My face was probably a thousand different shades of red. I heard Torah stifle a giggle. I growled as I shook Luffy's shoulders. _Wake up you Idiot! _

"Zoro…not so rough…be gentle…" Luffy continued to sleep,

"Ahhhhhh!" I yelled covering my ears. I didn't want to hear anymore. Fortunately this woke Luffy.

"Where's the fire Zoro?" he asked so obliviously. He stretched and yawned. In case you didn't know, I scooted my self to the far corner of the room.

"Oh, your awake." I noticed. Luffy stopped stretching suddenly. His face grew really red. Before I could ask there was a loud meow. Mittens scooted her empty bowl towards me. _He's got morning wood, get me food!_

_What, you can speak telepathically now? _

_Yes, now leave so he can do his business! _

"I gotta fill Mitten's bowl now, so uh…sit tight and don't destroy anything." I told him calmly as I climbed down the latter.

"Take your time!" Luffy called after stiffly.

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><p><em>Luffy POV<em>:

I waited a few minutes making sure Zoro was all the way down the mast.

Last night I had a really weird dream about Zoro and I. We were… _doing it. _Well at least I think we were, because I have a massive boner right now. I've had one of these thing s before, but I'd forget why I got it. It just came out of nowhere. But this time I remember my dream as if it actually happened.

I took my erection out of my pants and started stroking slow at first. I leaned back on the bench and closed my eyes as I replayed the dream in my head. I moaned deeply as my strokes became quicker. I remembered the feeling of Zoro's well tone body pressed against mine. I curled my toes in ecstasy.

"Ohhh, Zoro…" I moaned loudly as I drew near to my release. I could still feel Zoro touching and teasing my body towards breaking point. And with that I came, screaming his name. Shivers went through my body and I got goose bumps from it. It felt soo good.

I quickly cleaned up the mess I made with a tissue and threw it in the trash. I felt so dirty. That was my first mate I was thinking about! We're suppose to be friends and nothing more! And yet…I _do_ want to become more than friends. But in life not everyone gets what they want.

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><p><em>Zoro POV:<em>

After breakfast, Luffy and I went into town. I asked him why we were going again since we already went the day before, and the day before that and so on.

"There's probably other stuff we haven't seen yet." He'd say. I just sighed and went along with it, like I always do.

Luffy dragged me to almost every store and concession stand begging me to buy him stuff with the money I don't have.

"Oh my god…" I said when I saw Torah waving at me from a distance.

"What is it?" Luffy's back was to her, and he noticed that I was looking pass him. I face palmed as Luffy turned around to see who it was. "Who's that?"

"Zoro-kun~! Don't act like you don't remember me!" She called as she raced over. She glomped me in a giant bear hug. Her short skirt almost flying up for all to see.

"What the hell are you doing here, Torah?" I asked in surprise. I thought she wasn't allowed to be seen , or something.

"You do remember me! I'm so happy." She said happily. I was kind of confused. Of course I remember her, is she crazy.

_Pretend like I'm an old girlfriend! Play along or I'll kill you. _Said to me in my mind except she was still smiling. I was forced to smile warmly.

"Hehe, its good to see you again, Torah." I said. She clung onto me as if we _were _going out.

"Zoro, who is this?" Luffy asked. Torah pretended to just realize him standing there.

"Who's your friend, Zoro?" she asked still clinging on to me.

"Um, well…Torah this is Luffy, Luffy, this is Torah," I forced myself to say, "My old girlfriend." I told him. I saw a look of betrayal flash in his eyes.

"How about a kiss for old time sake." She said mischievously. My face warmed.

"Ok fine." I leaned down to kiss her. It was only a peck, nothing more. Though when I looked up, Luffy was gone.

"Where'd, Luffy go?" I voiced my concerns.

"He ran away, you should go after him. I wasn't really expecting _that_ much of a reaction." She told me casually.

"Dammit, which way did he run!" I asked hastily. She pointed in the direction of the ship. I wasn't paying attention enough to get lost even once.

I saw Franky carrying a crate of cola

"Franky, have you seen Luffy?" I asked quickly.

"Yeah, Mugiwara-bro rushed below deck for some reason. I asked him what the fire was, but he ignored me." The big cyborg explained.

"Thanks." Then I rushed down below the deck. I looked in the men's quarters first because that's probably where he went.

"Luffy?" I found Luffy laying face down in his bed/hammock. "Luffy, daijoubu-ahh!" I dodged a pillow in a nick of time.

"Get out!" he shouted at me, getting ready to through another pillow at me.

"Luffy calm down, whats wrong!" I tried to reason, but he just through more pillows. I blocked them from hitting my face.

"Go away!" he through his last pillow. He looked around first something else to through at me, but I grabbed both his wrists. "Let go of me, JERK!" he struggled to get out of my grasp. I pinned him on to the hammock. I smashed my lips angrily onto his in a kiss. Luffy stopped struggling and stiffened instead. I parted from him, looking him straight in his eyes which were wide with surprised confusion.

"Will you stop now?" I grunted.

"Zoro, I love you…" Luffy whispered. I kissed him again but this time he kissed back more passionately. Finally he's mine, and I wouldn't want it any other way.

_2 later days _

We left the waft of the island finally. I told Luffy a lie that before we left, a kind family adopted Mittens from me. He was sad from this but I convinced him that we couldn't keep her.

"Zoro, I don't understand. Why'd you kiss that girl when you love _me_?" he asked as we watched the sun set on top of the Thousand Sunny's figure head.

"She was an old girlfriend, I couldn't not kiss her." I lied smoothly. I was going to thank her but she disappeared.

As if on cue I saw Torah sitting on the edge on the ship behind us. She winked at me.

"Whats wrong?" Luffy turned around to where I was looking but she was already gone.

"It's nothing." I told him.

"Zoro…"

"Yeah?"

"That kiss you gave me the other day, can we do it again?" he asked we slight color on his cheeks.

"Of course my captain." I didn't hesitate to kiss those soft pink lips of his. I cupped his face in my hand. I tilted my head slightly to kiss him deeper. I ran my tongue on his bottom lip. He allowed me access as he opened up to let my tongue slip into his mouth.

He moaned slightly through the kiss. I pushed him back slightly so now Luffy was lying on his back.

We finally parted for air. Luffy's face looked as it was painted red and was panting slightly.

"I love you, Luffy." I told him.

"I love you too, Zoro." He whispered.


	2. Chapter 2

**Here's part two! This Chapter is more T rated. Things get crazy and out of hand! Please enjoy!**

**Chapt. 2**

_The next day:_

Sanji was plotting an evil prank to get back at Zoro. He remembered a serum that Ivankov gave him. He siphoned the liquid of his hormone hormone no mi powers. It had the power to turn a male into a female.

Ivonkov said to use it whenever he wanted to _truly feel the heart of a maiden. _Sanji would have never excepted it if he actually gave it to him, but he Iva-chan sook it into his backpack when he wasn't looking. At least he left a note explaining what the thing was.

Sanji fashioned the serum into a dart that he was going shot at the shitty swordsman, using the tranquilizer you have to blow into.

He put the plan in motion. Zoro was sleeping, lazily on the bench that was around the mast. Sanji hid behind a crate that was conveniently a little ways away, enough distance to be inconspicuous. He took a big breath concentrating himself. _Ok, Sanji, you have one shot, make it count._ He took aim. _Boy I should have asked Usopp to do this. _He though ironically.

3…2…1, he blew into the bamboo Shooting perfectly at Zoro's direction.

"Hey Zoro! Luffy popped out of nowhere, and glomped Zoro. Instead of the dart hitting Zoro, it hit Luffy point blank on the neck.

"Oh, shit!" Sanji cursed.

"Luffy, whats that coming out of your neck?" Zoro noticed the furry object that suddenly appeared at the side of his captain's neck. Luffy touched the dart lightly, then pulled it out with a grimace.

"I think I just got tranqualized." He said casually, then fell over in a faint.

"Oh shit! Luffy!" Zoro panicked. Is there marines around or something? He looked around frantically. He tried to look in the direction of where it came from. He saw Sanji trying to sneak away with a bamboo shaft in his hand.

"YOU!" Zoro accused as he tackled Sanji down like some kind of security guard catching a juvenile.

"Get off me you Ox!" Sanji yelled as Zoro put him in a headlock.

"Why'd you tranquilize Luffy, huh?" Zoro demanded.

"It wasn't for _him_! It was for _you_! Its not going to hurt him anyway, look!" Sanji pointed towards Luffy who was sitting up rubbing his head.

"I feel funny." He said. Sanji and Zoro stared mouth agape.

"What. The. Hell?" while Zoro was distracted Sanji took the chance to get loose from his hold. He stood up and took a drag from his cigarette.

"Well, I shouldn't really be surprised, I mean that's what it does after all." Sanji said almost to himself, but Zoro heard him loud and clear. He grabbed him on the front of his shirt.

"You _knew_ that this was going to happen?" Zoro yelled.

"Know what, what was going to happen?" Luffy sat obliviously as the two squabbled. Luffy felt an unusual weight on his chest. He also noticed that his voice was slightly higher than it should be.

"You're a girl Nimrod!" Zoro hissed. Sanji kicked Zoro on the back of the head.

"Don't you dare talk to a lady like that!" Sanji shouted seriously.

"He's no, lady! He's Luffy!" Zoro snapped back.

"I'm a lady?" Luffy panicked. Luffy looked down at his new boobs which were as big as Nami's. His(well…her) shirt was hanging open, though her areolas were conveniently hidden. "Ahh!" She close her shirt, covering up, blushing furiously. Zoro was confused.

"How the hell did he get a sense of self-consciousness?" Zoro asked.

"I guess its her maidens heart." Sanji held a hand to his chin thinking aloud.

"It's gone! My pride! My manhood! It's gone!" Luffy cried still holding his shirt together because it can't really button up like he wants to.

"Oh my gosh, Luffy. You're a chick!" Franky commented as he walked up.

"I know! And I'm kind of freaking out about it!" Luffy squealed.

"What?" Usopp hopped over the railing down the stairs to see what was going on. It didn't take long for everyone to find out. When Nami found out, she took pity on the new girl that's Luffy. She yelled at everyone to leave her alone, and guided Luffy along with a giggling Robin to the women's quarters.


End file.
